Have you ever interacted with a quiet student? Perhaps it can feel intimidating if you don’t have the tools to engage in conversation in an impactful way.
Within a mentoring relationship, learning how to interact with a quiet student is essential for both the student and you! If you have been paired with a more reserved student, or your student is experiencing some sort of hardship that leaves them disengaged, continue reading for some tips to help you during the mentoring hour.
Nonverbals Matter
First off, nonverbals matter! If your student is showing you something or is quietly sharing about their day, are you nodding along? Are you smiling with your mouth and eyes? How is your body posture? Are you leaning towards the student or away? These nonverbal cues show the student that you are focused on them and what they have to share with you.
Say Their Name
When attempting to talk to your student about something, make sure to say their name! This personal touch is reassuring to students. It allows them to feel seen and heard by you. An example of this might look like:
- Sam, what are your plans this weekend?
- How are you feeling about your math test tomorrow, Joey?
- I am so proud of you, Jessica! You read that paragraph so well.
Respect Their Pace
If your student opens up to you at a slower pace, respect that! Not every young person is going to reveal details about their life on the first day or weeks of mentoring. If you set some realistic expectations, and allow your student to set the pace, you will both feel better about your time spent together. Use positive nonverbals and create an environment where your student feels safe with you! One day in the future, they may choose to share more information with you if you respect their pace now.
Ask Open-Ended Questions
When a student is on the quieter side, it is important to ask open-ended questions. Instead of asking if they are excited for recess, ask what excites them about recess. Instead of asking them if they are having a good day, ask what their day has consisted of. Here are some examples of open-ended questions:
- Can you tell me about your best friend?
- Why did you choose that color?
- What is your favorite book and why?
- What subject is your favorite at school?
Every time you ask your student a question that has more than a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ response, this sparks deeper conversation. It is helpful to prepare some talking points prior to entering the school building. This way, you can connect with your student more intentionally!
It can make all the difference when you are intentional with a quiet student. The next time you mentor, give these ideas a try. See if these suggestions spark a more meaningful mentoring hour. Additionally, the Kids Hope USA portal has resources of all kinds to utilize with your student, so be sure to login and use these provided materials to help you succeed. If you need additional support, contact your Kids Hope USA program director to see what advice they may have for you and your student!