How to Connect with Your Student: 3 Tips for Mentors 

This year is sure to be full of laughs, learnings, challenges, and unknowns. Kids Hope USA mentors have the unique opportunity to meet their student in the middle of it and help guide them through. 

Before mentors and students begin to engage on a deeper level, they first need to break the ice! What are some ways to connect with your student at the start of another school year? How can we show that we are paying attention and care about what our students are sharing with us? Take a look at these three tips to help with conversation flow during the mentoring hour.  

#1 – Create Opportunities for Elaboration 

Elaboration occurs when students are provided an extra moment to add to their original response. When your student answers a question you’ve asked or brings something up on their own, consider waiting an extra beat before responding. There could be an additional thought that your student is wanting to say, but if we cut that off, we won’t get to hear it! 

Also, it is important to pursue intentional follow-up questions to further engage with your student. If they share with you that they have enjoyed playing with a new friend over the summer, follow up on that! Your response only goes so far if you say, “That’s awesome.” What if you said, “That’s awesome. What games did you play together?” These follow-up questions take your conversations to the next level.  

Lastly, it can be helpful for a student to have an open-ended elaboration. Something as simple as “tell me more about that” or “I would love to hear more about that” can be a great way to connect with your student and have them share more than they originally did.  

As you probably know, your body language matters! This is a big way to help your student feel more comfortable and willing to share. How are you presenting yourself? Make sure you show up on time, are distraction-free, and ready to be fully present with your student. Are you nodding when they share new facts about themselves? Does your student receive solid eye contact from you throughout the mentoring hour?  

Students are constantly observing their environment. If your student sees you looking at the clock or glancing at another mentor/student duo, they might feel more reserved. It is our job as mentors to make their experience the best it can be!  

If you are implementing the first two tips and your student is still a bit apprehensive to share, that’s okay! The mentoring hour isn’t just about getting a student to open up and share. Vulnerability happens when you build a solid relationship over time.  

That being said, you can still make your hour together meaningful. Consider having conversations while multitasking. You can color while catching up about summer break. Try putting together Legos while asking some “get-to-know-you” questions. Ask about their weekend plans while dribbling basketballs.  

This distraction can be just what your student needs to feel comfortable to open up to you! Multitasking is a great way to connect with your student.  

As the school year begins, get ready to put these three tips into practice. This is also a great opportunity to check out the Kids Hope USA portal for mentors and directors. We have plenty of resources and activities to continue to get to know our students well.  

Also, our Mentoring Strengthens Skills blog series is a great one for you to check out. The content focuses on how mentoring strengthens conversation skills.  

The key to connect with your student is to simply be curious about them. What are their interests? How do they feel about school? Who do they enjoy spending time with? When you enter into their world, it makes all the difference.  

If you are interested in learning more about mentoring and how those in your community can get involved, check out the mentoring program information and details. Mentoring is a tangible way to step into your local school and community. If you aren’t already, get involved today!