Know the 411
- The children we mentor deal with much change and loss.
- Many may have experienced some form of abandonment.
- It’s important to have closure at the end of the year whether or not you are planning to continue mentoring your child next year. He or she may move and you want to have a strong “good-bye.”
- Saying “good-bye,” talking about transitions, and sharing feelings and positive memories are all very important skills for emotional health.
- Achieving closure can prevent your child from perceiving that your relationship was not important if you are not able to see each other next year.
- Achieving closure will help you celebrate your year together.
Start a Conversation
Use these conversation starters with your mentee for the closure process:
- “What did you enjoy about our year together?”
- “What is one thing you will remember about our time together?”
- If you are not continuing mentoring next year, explain the reason in specific terms. For example, say, “I will not be able to come again next year. I have some new work for my job that won’t allow me to be here each week.”
- Even if you are planning to continue, say, “I am planning on coming back next year. If you are here and I am here, we will continue our time together. I’m excited about that.”
Listen and Reflect
- Listen for comments about feelings about the end of the year or what will be happening next year.
- Reflect, “I know you may be sad about the year ending.”
- When your child expresses sadness about not seeing you next year if you are not continuing, reflect, ”I know you are sad we won’t be able to meet next year. I will miss being with you too.”
Affirm
- Affirm your child for specific accomplishments he or she has made this year.
- Affirm you child for his or her inner qualities you enjoy in your time together.